It’s been a good, albeit an odd fall/holiday season thus far. As I laid out in my previous post, Halloween was a dream come true. My income hasn’t been great but my awesome Grandmother gave us a publix card so we had an amazing Thanksgiving dinner at home with my best friend Matt. Had a blast but more importantly lots of leftovers 🙂
Rheumatologically I’m doing a bit better since switching up my meds. I’ve been on Xeljanz the last few weeks and it seems to be helping quite a bit so that’s awesome. Off the prednisone and back to sleeping relatively normally which I’m quite pleased with.
Mentally I’ve been a mixed bag but I’m holding. I’m a lot more relaxed now that I got a very helpful early Christmas present. Been a bit frantic and anxious lately but its mostly under control. Excited about seeing my big Sister soon too, she’ll be here a whole month 🙂
I don’t really worry much these days about dressing or looking like a bit of a Nancy boy. I mean, I’m not doing anything ridiculously over the top. I’ve just let my guard down a bit. I’m not cartoonishly such but I am a guy who is deeply in touch with his feminine side and not afraid to express it occasionally. I realize that I might get jumped for looking like a homo but I don’t really give a fuck. I dress the way I do because it gives me joy. I don’t really care if other people don’t like or approve of it.
All I’m really doing is finally being comfortable enough with myself to not give a shit what people(especially other men) think or say about me. Yeah, I’m a bit crazy and a big fairyboy. I know who the hell I am and it only took me well into my thirties to figure it out and to be okay with myself.
I sometimes feel like an oddball in both the queer and Metal communities. I’m Death Metal as fuck but I’m the only Gay Death Metalhead I know except for a dude I follow on Instagram (I’m on there as rainbowbritethedestroyer) 🙂
I don’t care if I fit in or if people approve. I’m the Death Metal Faerie Boi and I like myself this way, damn it.
Whatevers. It’s almost time for Christmas. All I want is more time with my darling and LOTS of wacky knee high socks. The more insane the better. That is all 🙂
I’m feeling a bit rough but not terrible considering the fact that I’m T+16 hours from my first weekly dose of methotrexate. I’m trying to stay conscious of how low my dose is, because it could be more harsh as one gets higher in the range. But yeah, I’ve been riding it out on the couch and taking it easy. I’ve had some heavy fatigue and mild queasiness but nothing like all the hype I’ve heard surrounding this treatment. Aside from an icky sweaty night I feel mostly alright.
Part of this was a strategy on my Doctor’s part. He resubmitted my Humira prescription after I added Arava and Plaquenil to my list of failed drugs. The main reason it was initially denied was the lack of having tried other things. I’m hoping the nice people at Prime Therapeutics see it his way this time. Everything I’ve read says that the most effective combination for fighting RA is a synthetic DMARD plus a biologic.
Anyhow, I’m happy to say that at least for now the big bad methotrexate isn’t such a big deal. This may change, but it’s totally workable for the time being. As long as I stay diligent with the folic acid the side effects should be relatively mild. Really, it’s nothing a bit of medicinal THC can’t handle. Hopefully now I can stay the hell off the damned steroids for a while. They take care of the swelling very well but cause trouble of their own.
I’m done with Facebook permanently, of this I am certain. However I still use one social media network, albeit a much smaller one than FB or Twitter and what have you. It’s called MyRATeam. The social network for people with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I’m not as active as some but I find it an excellent resource for information about treatment options as well as a fun place to interact with others. All I was really doing on Facebook was messing around in groups pertaining to my health issues anyway. I just decided to cut the excess bullshit away and keep what I wanted. Between here (WordPress ) and myrateam.com my itch to socialize online it pretty well covered.
So in all, I’m feeling quite optimistic about the current course of action and looking fondly to the future. In an hour or so I’ll be doing breakfast with my darling Lover and there’s no telling what the day holds in store.
That’s all for now.
I’m trying to exercise some patience and be more receptive to change. Part of my therapy is trying to break out of old patterns and identify bad habits. I’m thinking a little extra proofreading is in order for this post as this is my first time using the voice feature to blog. I’m trying to get myself what break I can in my off time. Prednisone is helping with the swelling joints but now I’ve entered night time and the steroid is starting to wear off. Gentle little prickles of pain are becoming gradually more noticeable. I thought of taking the steroid in the afternoon or something but I have to sleep at some point, right?
This voice blogging is kind of weird but not terrible. Actually I rather like it now that I’m starting to get used to it. However punctuation and things like that are a little more Awkward. I’ll go through this later and see what I missed to be sure.
I’m in the process of wrangling myself a sooner appointment with my rheumatologist. I don’t believe the Arava which I’ve taken for several months is doing me any good. My guess is the next thing to try is methotrexate but my doctor may have something else strange up his sleeve. We shall see I guess. I’ll probably start getting some relief soon as I have another Humira shot on Friday. If it’s anything like what it was before I stopped using it I’ll be in good shape.
Work goes well but I’m worried about how long I’ll be able to stand up to the physical nature of my job. I know my inflammation will only get worse as the cold gets more intense. At least that’s how it happened last year. On the other hand I wasn’t on DMARDS last year.
Anyhow, gearing up for Christmas and immediately regretting jumping back to typing this post on my android. Thinking a bath with some Epsom salt is in order. I want off the prednisone but right now I’m thinking that I should keep it up until I get seen again. Pls Pray for Thom.
In spite of pain and stuff it’s been a wonderful day. My man got me strawberry pancakes this morning and the rest of the day was quite pleasant.
I mean it. It’s been a good year despite a couple of rough patches. I saw Napalm Death for the third time, got engaged and visited Alaska! My darling is in the kitchen working on a Thanksgiving feast. I am thankful for my job, the people I know and possibilities yet to be revealed.
I was irked about some trouble with my Christmas tree but it was a blessing in disguise. One of the strings of lights shorted out and I had to basically take everything off the tree and start over. It’s cool though, because Shannon and I got to decorate the tree together and it was a lovely fuzzy bonding experience.
Hurting a bit today but not terribly so. I figured out why my last Humira shot was so freaking painful. I forgot to let it comes to room temperature before I injected it. Yeowch! Won’t forget to do THAT again. I’m off the prednisone today for the first day. So far so good. I’m going to resume relaxing and helping as needed with dinner. Very pleased with how my Sweet Mashed Potatoes turned out. Anyhow, Matt and his lady friend should be here about 7:30 and I am excite.
Happy Thanksgiving folks!
Despite a rough September and October, things have somewhat leveled off. I’ve got some breathing room financially and am excited about the holidays. This year Shannon and I are doing our own thanksgiving. My Mom is going to be in Wisconsin visiting my Sister so we will be doing a modest spread. We have one guest joining us, my best friend Matt. He didn’t have anything going on so we are quite happy to have a bit of company. He’s a great guy and we don’t get to hang out as much as we would like. He’s always a good sport about being our plus one. I like to think we’re a reasonably classy gay couple to tag along with. We decided that while we’ll be mostly traditional we are doing Cornish Hens in lieu of a Turkey. It just seems overkill to us three.
So, ja…. that’s one thing. I’m happy with work lately. However my restaurant has been getting hammered the last few days. This is good, of course. It’s just that since the Humira got cut off my hands and wrists have been flaring up again. Not enough to justify taking some prednisone, but still bothersome. I’ve been on Plaquenil about a week and aside from some GI distress I haven’t noticed any change. I probably won’t for a while as its mechanism of action is rather slow to start. It’s just a bit frustrating because I felt great after a few rounds of Humira. C’est la vie. I see the Rheumatologist on Tuesday and may ask about a prescription NSAID. Or perhaps not. I presume that he’ll want to wait and see what the labs say and give the existing stuff time to kick in. This is proving to quite be a test of my patience.
I’m laying on the couch currently enjoying a tripped out favorite in the form of ‘Blood Moon Rise’ by the bewitching Jex Thoth. It’s one of the most spacey and decidedly Pagan sounding albums ever. Great riffs, grinding bass and haunting lyrics. I’m using my dugout at the moment because I’m pretty sore at present. I’m massively pleased that Florida’s Amendment Two passed. No more treating patients like criminals. It’s a new day. The tide has turned.
One more day of work to power through and I have a nice little mini Vacation. I normally work on Tuesday with Monday/Wednesday off. This Tuesday I see the Rheumatologist so I have three days off. Time for some mischief 🙂
Yeah, I say that now. I’m gonna listen to music, read occult books and space the hell out for the better part of three days. It shall be grand. I’m thinking that I should get back into using the elliptical. My weight is pretty good now but I could use a little cardio.
Not much else is up besides acquiring patches and designing a killer jacket 🙂
Anyhow, back to muh relaxation. Thanks for reading.
This year I only lasted for two days into November to start Christmas decorating. I’m not sure how, but Christmas and whatnot has kind of become a big deal to me. At least a bigger deal than my teen/young adult years.
For a while I was kind of mad during the holidays because I didn’t get why everyone went along with what I thought was a Christian holiday. As I came to learn more about the theft of Pagan traditions (including but not limited to Yule) the more I realized that Christmas is pretty cool, as well as decidedly Pagan.
My Christmas tree is a reflection of me, which is why there are skulls, cartoon characters and lots more. A few angels to keep it on the level 😉 Han Solo, Darth Vader, the Tick, Starscream, Batman and an attractive anime girl as well as a hammerhead shark in there somewhere. Also, yes- that is a DRI patch up there by the lead angel.
Just thought I’d share today’s nerding out.