I’m not THAT depressed.  I’ve been kind of moody and mopey lately, but that comes with being a Bipolar person. I AM feeling significantly better since the Wellbutrin was upped, I just lost sight of this when I wrote my last post. I have a way of magnifying things when I’m upset and was pretty bent out of shape that particular day. 

I’m actually having a pretty excellent week. People are still getting on my nerves but I’m dealing with it to the best of my ability. I can’t just hide out from the general public forever and I don’t intend to try to.  I’m actually pretty good at hosting,  to be perfectly honest.  It’s just the fact that for all my bravado I have a pretty fragile ego. This is something I’ve been trying to work on lately because pretty much any kind of job I’ll do involves some degree of human interaction.  

I am making what I consider a positive change, though. I talked to one of my managers about picking up some maintenance shifts. It bugs me that I have a bunch of tools that I never use. I’m already an early riser and I thought it would be good to have some stable income without much of the aforementioned dealing with the public. If I have to continue hosting it’ll only be two days out of my week. I’m hoping I can squeeze some bussing in there too as making tips is where it’s at. 

So yeah, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I was being ridiculous and things are actually pretty good right now.  I see the Rheumatologist next Friday and I’ll deal with the new meds when I get them started. It may take some getting used to and may hit me pretty hard but I’m not going to bury myself before I’m dead if you’ll excuse the expression.

Seeing the Psychiatrist next week and aside from asking for something to help with sleep I’ve got mostly good news for him. 

The Birthday  (which I DO care about ) presents have started rolling in. Got a couple Anti-inflammatory Cookbooks and two awesome albums. The  Key by Nocturnus and Mortal Throne of Nazarene by Incantation.  The Metal Demon within is highly pleased 🙂

Aside from that,  just doing my best like always.  Each day is a gift. May it be so for you too.


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