Joy flowing…

I am thrilled beyond words. He asked me to marry him! My response was ‘Of course!’. We had our anniversary dinner at home a week or two ago and he popped the question after I served us ribeyes with baked potatoes and salad. He had planned on taking us out somewhere but our lack of proper planning caused us to say ‘Let’s relax and do dinner at home!’. It was a good move, I think.

I love him so much. He brings out the proper balance of my energies. At least it feels like such to me. I don’t feel like we’re in any sort of competition, but are rather equal partners working as a team.  He’s really good to me and very understanding about my mental illness and the fact that I’m not always a portrait of stability. He builds me up and helps me believe in myself, something I’m not used to at all given my history.

The whole family knows now, and nothing bad happened. A few awkward moments, but I made it through the hard part, now I can just live gay and prosper or whatever.

Now the fun part, planning the wedding! We have agreed that it will be outdoors and decidedly Pagan 😉

More as it develops. I still can’t freaking believe it.


The Unthinkable

I did it. I came out to my Dad. It wasn’t a big fiery scene, he just asked me and I didn’t deny it. We didn’t talk for about a week after that, due to both of us being busy but… Yeah. That’s where we’re at.

I don’t know about gay men, but I work with a decent amount of lesbians. They have all been really supportive through this matter. One girl told me ‘He’s your Dad, he’s not just gonna disown you outright. He might say, ‘Try not to get AIDS.’, but it’s really none of his business.’.

So, yeah. My Father told me he’s not exactly thrilled about my personal life. My response was ‘Well, you’re my Dad and I don’t love you any less, so let’s just leave it at that’. ‘Okay.’ Was his response.

So yeah, the moment I’ve feared since late teenage has come. And it wasn’t that big a deal.  Alright, I’ll take it.

And the world keeps turning, yanno?

On s#&t getting real…

Pray for Thom. Oh, shall I need it. I knew it was only a matter of time. My Dad knows I’m gay and that’s where we’re at. Granted, I’m surprised he didn’t notice it until today. I’m sure there was speculation but until I posted about my boyfriend today it was just that.

I hadn’t really hidden it in a long time as doing so was ripping my soul apart. All the worry and stress finally got to where I was no longer willing to live like that. I came out on Facebook and added my Dad as a friend. Again, it was only a matter of time before it occurred to him that something might me, I dunno… Not straight.

I’ve been running from this forever and I finally decided to stop and just let it get me. My emotions are all over the place and I’m nursing a beer as I try to keep my wits about me.

I’m such a head case right now it’s not funny. Light a candle and spill some blood for your humble narrator. I need all the help I can get at the moment.