It’s taken a long time, but I may just now have found a way. I’ve known for years about a place in my county that does vocational rehabilitation for the mentally ill. I never thought I needed it until now.
Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. I already did vo rehab through the state of Florida in my old trade (HVAC). After two serious collapses I no longer found myself capable of that kind of work. I still sort of have the physical strength but my wiring and general technical knowledge got pretty much wiped out by losing my mind twice.
I’ve been winging it since then which equals about the last ten years of my life. I’ve done odd, Shitty and mostly food related jobs for terrible pay and a pathetic amount of time on the clock. All the while being abundantly aware of how hard I’m getting screwed. At least in comparison to what I used to make in my early twenties before I went cuckoo.
I’ve been immensely depressed and morose for some time about the state of my working life. Sometimes the fact I’m working at all amazes me. I was on Social security benefits for nearly five years for acute impairment due to bipolar disorder which was diagnosed just before my twenty-fourth birthday.
I try to cut myself some slack for how far I’ve come and give myself a little credit for still being alive. I just recently fully came out of the closet with my family which has been a major load on my mind as long as I can remember. They were all pretty cool about that and everything actually went much better than I expected.
But yeah, I want to do more than work in a kitchen. This place has a wide variety of skill training and I feel like they could really help me succeed which in turn would make me more self actualized and most likely a bit happier day to day.
I actually have to give most of the credit to my boyfriend. He gives me loads of encouragement and told me that it sounded like something that I should pursue. I’m not used to being with someone who builds me up. It’s really incredible and beautiful.
The interview process begins in two weeks. That gives me time to download forms and have them ready when I go there. I’m really excited about this.
That’s all for now, but if I think of anything else you’ll be the first to hear it.