I wish…

I wish I could make my feelings known without being pigeonholed as a drama queen.

I wish I was more successful than working in a joke kitchen with a bunch of kids at my age.

I wish I could govern my passions which tie me into a million knots.

I wish I could just tell my Dad I have a boyfriend and have everything be fine and dandy.

I wish I knew why anything is anything.

I wish people weren’t so put off by the things that I find beautiful.

I wish the National Anthem of the USA was ‘Spill the Blood’ by Slayer.

I wish I knew more non-straight people who like Metal.

I wish I could make a few people I know see that life is precious and beautiful in spite of all the heartache.

I wish I was better at taking my own advice.

I wish I could organize my life into something worthwhile instead of a never-ending cycle of mediocrity and disappointment.

I wish I didn’t take things so seriously because it makes me want to jump out of my own skin and scream bloody gore.

I wish there was a way to regenerate all the gray matter I’ve partied into oblivion.

I wish my boyfriend was here right now making me giggle like a little kid.

I wish I could make my friends know how dear they are to me even though our time together grows scarce.

I wish I wasn’t such a walking cartoon.

I wish people wouldn’t interrogate when I’m obviously distraught.

I wish that I could just for a few minutes recapture the fire I once possessed.

I wish my writing style wasn’t so terribly disjointed.

I wish my pen was quicker than my brain.

I wish my heart was stronger.

I wish I had something helpful to say when people spill their guts to me instead of just anxiously grappling for the words.

I wish I would speak up and stick up for myself more than I do.

I wish that it really was as simple as taking the pills and Tah-dah everything’s awesome!!!

Most of all, I wish I could help everyone.

Alas, it is not so.

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