It has always been something of a puzzlement to me, human sexual and romantic chemistry. I guess I kind of bewilder some people in this sense at times myself. Not deliberately, mind. I mean, it makes pretty good sense to me. I ebb and flow at times, but by and large I’m an even split bisexual. I’ve had meaningful and passionate relationships with both men and women. I remember years ago I saw a great quote. It read “It’s not that I mind being queer, I just wish people weren’t so put off by it.”. That pretty well sums it up for me.
I don’t entertain some ludicrous notion that everyone is some moral fascist trying to force me into repentance or some such hogwash. By and large most people are pretty cool. But I’ve had plenty of people tell me “It’s time to choose a side” or something equally insipid that implies they know me better than I do. Bah.
When I was a teenager I was pretty damn sure I was gay. My first experiences were with other guys. Then a girl I knew seduced me and I really liked it. I’ve found myself confounded at times but I’ve learned to just enjoy the journey. I’ve had three serious girlfriends and three serious boyfriends so, um… yeah. Pretty sure that screams *insert generic term for bisexual here*. Honestly, I don’t think about it nearly as much as some people do. If I’m with someone then that relationship is what’s important, not conforming to some fundamentalist interpretation of what it means to be not straight.
I also despise the notion that all non-straight folks are die-hard democrats. I happen to be a member of the Libertarian Party of Florida and think both the elephants AND the donkeys are full of the most succulent kind of bullshit. I believe in individual responsibility and am a staunch anti-federalist. However, I don’t really want this to be a political blog. I’m just asserting Randall’s (from Clerks) point: Title does not dictate behavior.
There’s something a bit different with the new Boyfriend though….
He’s so much sweeter than the other two were. He’s a gentle soul and very nurturing. Some of the men I’ve been with have not been that secure in themselves and seemed terrified of actual intimacy. The guy I’m seeing now is thoroughly affectionate and not afraid to express it. It’s WONDERFUL!!!!
Sometimes people in my family irritate me a little but I don’t think they are actually trying to be jerks or anything. They are just a bit old-school or something. One thing that bugs me is if my boyfriend gets referred to as my ‘friend’. I know it’s probably not trolling but let’s call a spade a spade, damnit. We’re adults here. Yeesh.
Being bi, at least in the open sense can be troubling. Neither camp really seems to trust you. My new boyfriend is very accepting of it, but a lot of gay guys I’ve met can be downright mean about it. And straight people tend to be a mixed bag too. Still, I know who I am, damnit. That in itself is worth infinitely more than any passing frustration.
Aside from being told my sexuality is correlated to my bipolar disorder and that I’m just hypersexual. That still hurts. I’ve only had six serious long term partners and I’m thirty-two. Fuck it. Can’t please everyone.
Until we meet again-